"Carried"

This is how I've felt lately. I've been surrounded by so much love lately

that it has just come pouring out into this blog.

I have to tell you what I have been going through

 because my newest piece of art is what has come from this experience

 and my art is beginning to heal me.

I will begin with a journal entry that I wrote today as  I was starting to work.

I started thinking about this terrible, unexplainable, void

 that happens everyday to so many people.

This great sadness that is so very present in my life at this moment.

I had a miscarriage.

After we have been trying for over 3 years to get pregnant,

 I Did get pregnant!

Then the worst thing I could imagine happened.

 We lost the baby.

Now what do I do?

You see, I usually know how to feel and can slap a smile on my face

and "Scarlet O'Hara"

 (tomorrow is another day)

my way through almost anything

BUT

This time I just could not and still can not.

As I was sitting down to create and do something that makes me happy and actually "feel",

I hear that still small voice

That voice turned this horrible word that makes me tear up thinking it much less saying it. 

That voice turned it into something else.

"Miscarried" 

turned into just simply

 "Carried".

I was inspired!

(I had intended to do some jewlery making but you know how that goes with art.

 It never ends up how you set out for it to be. At least for me that's how it goes.)

I grabbed my supplies from my awesome Art closet

 Curtosy of my parents. 

(Don'tcha just love it when people are getting rid of things that you really need.)

 which of course included my love affair with MOD PODGE!

I found some beautiful chip art birds from my stash and knew they would be the star!

I Love adding a heart to these birds. It just fits!

I use my chip art tools to place the heart on the birds

and used the same tools for the word "Carried".

Love this picture! That's from spraying the water to do chip art.

I paint the birds "sky blue" and add a red heart.

I've tried other color combinations but I guess...

 I'm in a "blue period".

OK, I simply must show you a picture of Tigger.

He comes to check on me about every 15 minutes.

(I think most of the time it's just so he can look out of the window.)

I paint the canvas a copper color and find this cool paper

 that has crinkles all in it and another scrap that has gold flecks running through it.

Both are handmade and I've been carring them around with me

 through out my twenties and into my 30's where now at 36 I am FINALLY using it! 

Of course I Mod Podge it and start working on layout.

I add some more crinkled pieces of paper and make

a flower and branch which ends up being the stem of the flower.

I find another Chip art bird and add it to the piece.

Oooo!

And I use this cool textured paper

 that looks like bubbles or stones to paint over and stamp with.

I think it adds something cool to the piece. 

"Cool Textured Paper Painted"

(said in a robot voice.)

Now say it 3 times fast!

The top looked empty so I add paper clouds and paint them.

Here it is:

"Carried"

(took the pictures outside so there are shadows on the top)

Here's my Favorite picture of it outside!

(I may have to use "Outdoor Mod Podge" on it and leave it right there.)

Thank you for reading my little Blog.

 I do hope I haven't told you too much about my personal life.

I truly did not intend on it but I had to allow you to understand this piece.

 It is truly therapy for me and I am so grateful to have found it.

Thank you for supporting me and "Carrying me" for a little while.

Everything today was created with Love, Tears, a great big mess,

 a lot of inspiration and my own two hands 

and it was all Handmade by JillyG's.

I hope you enjoy it!