Carried

Carried

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"Carried"



This is how I've felt lately. I've been surrounded by so much love lately
that it has just come pouring out into this blog.
I have to tell you what I have been going through
 because my newest piece of art is what has come from this experience
 and my art is beginning to heal me.
I will begin with a journal entry that I wrote today as  I was starting to work.


I started thinking about this terrible, unexplainable, void
 that happens everyday to so many people.
This great sadness that is so very present in my life at this moment.

I had a miscarriage.

After we have been trying for over 3 years to get pregnant,
 I Did get pregnant!
Then the worst thing I could imagine happened.
 We lost the baby.

Now what do I do?

You see, I usually know how to feel and can slap a smile on my face

and "Scarlet O'Hara"

 (tomorrow is another day)

my way through almost anything
BUT
This time I just could not and still can not.
As I was sitting down to create and do something that makes me happy and actually "feel",
I hear that still small voice
That voice turned this horrible word that makes me tear up thinking it much less saying it. 

That voice turned it into something else.

"Miscarried" 

turned into just simply

 "Carried".




I was inspired!

(I had intended to do some jewlery making but you know how that goes with art.
 It never ends up how you set out for it to be. At least for me that's how it goes.)

I grabbed my supplies from my awesome Art closet
 Curtosy of my parents. 
(Don'tcha just love it when people are getting rid of things that you really need.)




 which of course included my love affair with MOD PODGE!


I found some beautiful chip art birds from my stash and knew they would be the star!



I Love adding a heart to these birds. It just fits!
I use my chip art tools to place the heart on the birds
and used the same tools for the word "Carried".



Love this picture! That's from spraying the water to do chip art.



I paint the birds "sky blue" and add a red heart.
I've tried other color combinations but I guess...
 I'm in a "blue period".



OK, I simply must show you a picture of Tigger.
He comes to check on me about every 15 minutes.
(I think most of the time it's just so he can look out of the window.)



I paint the canvas a copper color and find this cool paper
 that has crinkles all in it and another scrap that has gold flecks running through it.
Both are handmade and I've been carring them around with me
 through out my twenties and into my 30's where now at 36 I am FINALLY using it! 




Of course I Mod Podge it and start working on layout.


I add some more crinkled pieces of paper and make
a flower and branch which ends up being the stem of the flower.



I find another Chip art bird and add it to the piece.



Oooo!
And I use this cool textured paper
 that looks like bubbles or stones to paint over and stamp with.
I think it adds something cool to the piece. 


"Cool Textured Paper Painted"
(said in a robot voice.)
Now say it 3 times fast!


The top looked empty so I add paper clouds and paint them.


Here it is:

"Carried"

(took the pictures outside so there are shadows on the top)


Here's my Favorite picture of it outside!



(I may have to use "Outdoor Mod Podge" on it and leave it right there.)

Thank you for reading my little Blog.
 I do hope I haven't told you too much about my personal life.
I truly did not intend on it but I had to allow you to understand this piece.
 It is truly therapy for me and I am so grateful to have found it.

Thank you for supporting me and "Carrying me" for a little while.

Everything today was created with Love, Tears, a great big mess,
 a lot of inspiration and my own two hands 
and it was all Handmade by JillyG's.
I hope you enjoy it!





4 comments:

  1. So proud of you for working through the pain. It takes work to turn that word around like you did. Work is a sign of getting up in spite of the pain. Some just stay in the pain and never heal. Glad you decided to heal to be whole!

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  2. Hello there fellow BG. found your blog on the forum. I had to tell you this is BEAUTIFUL!!! such a wonderful testiment. Thankyou for sharing :)

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  3. Thank you so much for the encouragement! Truly, this experience has changed me forever but so much beauty has come from such heartbrake.

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  4. I found you through the Little Bird, BGC sister! What a beautiful piece of art and an even more beautiful story. You are a BRAVE GIRL indeed. Thank you so much for sharing. I am sure your post will encourage others to find a way to work through the pain also. Thank you again.

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