But still...that pain remains.

I have been very weepy today and this Christmas Season. For some reason, This Season, more than others was especially tender.

It all started just before Thanksgiving when I realized that

"I thought" I would be having a "Lil' Turkey" to welcome into the world.

It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was 

so, 

so, 

so 

sad. 

I thought I had dealt with all that came with having a miscarriage!

(I mean I turned miscarried into "carried" and it changed my life just like that! For the Better.)

But still...that pain remains. 

It's not so raw as it once was but it's still there. 

It's healing but it is still tender.

I've started a new and exciting journey in Adoption and am filled to the brim with HOPE again. 

Really, filled with HOPE.

Christmas was hard because "I thought" I'd have a baby to share with my whole family. 

Instead it was talk about adoption which was wonderful and supportive.

But still...that pain remains. 

I've of course been thinking a lot about what this new year will bring 

and just like the past 3 years which will now turn into 4 years,

I will once again HOPE for a baby. 

(Maybe this year it will happen...I can only HOPE.)

We are moving right along in the adoption process and it's been a lot of work. 

So, so many papers to fill out and forms to send in and signatures required it feels like 

too 

much 

sometimes. 

I find myself thinking..."It's not fair!" 

Why does it have to be so hard?

Errrrr.........

(record sch-reaching sound!)

I can go down this path and feel pity for my self just like the next person but I will not. 

I am going to Trust my Journey instead.

I am going to hold on so tight to HOPE and be happy about the unexpected, beautiful gift that Matt and I will receive when we are blessed with a baby of our own.

I will instead begin to focus on how our Birth mother must be feeling. 

How alone and scared and hopeless she must feel. 

I will pray for her 

and for her strength

and for her to understand that we realize

that her choice

is out of the purest form of LOVE someone can give.

So much Love, for her baby that is growing inside of her.

And BRAVE, oh so BRAVE!

I hope I get to tell her these things one day. 

I hope we get to put our arms around each other and just feel gratitude for one another.

I will feel so grateful to her for giving me the greatest gift that I can ever imagine. 

I hope she feels gratitude to know that I will love and care for her baby as my own. 

That this baby, 

the baby she has carried inside of her 

was LOVED before she even met us. 

I hope she will be a part of our lives in some way forever

because how could you ever forget someone who gave you such a gift?

(I told you I was weepy!)

I know when that time comes it will be all I have ever imagined and so much more. 

Even if I never meet her, I will let her know of our gratitude. 

She will know how much she is loved!

So.....This Year

I will Trust my "Perfectly Imperfect" journey

and I will continue to pick myself up 

and I will never, ever loose HOPE!

For without HOPE there is nothing.

I am working on some beautiful new things to add to my JillyGs Etsy shop

that I just know you will LOVE!

I hope to blog more in the coming year because it is cleansing for me. 

Even if the only person who reads it is my Mom. 

For me, that is enough.

(I LOVE all of my readers though! Shout out of LOVE to you too!)

This post was written from a place so raw 

and 

written from a place that still has pain

but most of all this post was written from a place 

filled with HOPE and LOVE to

just 

simply TRUST. 

Oh! And it was written with my own two hands.

XOXO,

JillyG

"You were born in my heart"

I finished a new piece of art today. 

 

In honor of National Adoption Month, I felt compelled to make a piece especially for Adoption.

I have been trying to think about what to do for this very special piece

that will one day hang in my adopted baby's room.

(I know I have plenty of time for this but it helps me while I wait.)

I have a very dear friend of mine that has 2 adopted children of her own. Seeing how her life has been blessed by Adoption makes me have so much HOPE! 

Knowing her journey and all that she and her husband went through to get there

is made even more special each and every time I get to see her 

and her sweet babies as they are growing up.

She asked me if I would make something for an auction they are having to help families raise money to afford the cost of adoption. 

I was honored! 

 ME?!! 

I just started to make art...I hardly call myself an artist...

But how could I refuse? 

 

I truly feel God is leading me...well more like pulling me in this direction.

I am feeling more and more that this is my ministry. 

That God has shown me something that was always there

but I was never quiet enough to see it. 

 

So, I am so very happy to make this piece for someone that has been touched by adoption. 

I really feel like it doesn't have to be for an adoptive family 

because anyone that knows someone involved with or

touched by adoption can enjoy this piece. 

 

(I actually feel like everyone can enjoy this piece..

It's not like I put the word "ADOPTION" on it in bold letters.)

 

 

It's clear when you really look at it but

every baby was born in someone's heart. 

Some babies and parents (birth and adoptive) just have a different story to tell.

 

But every baby born is a miracle 

 

and a true Gift from God.

So here's how I made it! 

I started with a wash on the wood using my absolute favorite color to work with. 

This color and a special red color I use for each bird's heart is in just about every piece I make. 

I can't help it...I just have to use it. 

I cut out the tree from a beautiful patterned paper from Melody Ross at Hobby Lobby.

   

I made a pattern by tracing the doves from my "carried" piece 

and cut the doves for the birth parents out of a white patterned paper 

i got at Hobby lobby too. 

(on clearance)

I love that they are the same birds from "carried" because

one day I will be carried by them 

and they will be carried by me.

Next, I cut out the Birds for the Adoptive parents. 

And add an adorable baby chick-a-dee for the baby bird

out of a different patterned paper.

Just 3 little birdies sittin' in a tree....

Now I started to work with the layout of all of the components. 

I used a piece of gold rope like the kind I used in "carried" for the birth parents to hold together.

They have a heart on that string because their baby that they created will always be in their hearts.

The baby Chick-a-dee is cut from the same paper as the heart the birth parents hold.

I painted out all of the pieces and begin to lay them down onto the wood.

 "Eeeerrrrr"...

I heard a record scratch in everyone's mind. 

I know what you are thinking...

"How could you paint over that beautiful paper?!!"

Well...I didn't want it to compete with the birds.

The birds are just too important in this piece 

and it makes the flocking stand out even more. 

That's why.

 Can you find all of the pieces?

I lay it all down with my favorite...Mod Podge! 

I love that when I paint onto this board it makes an outline of the shape.

Now each time I paint I will always see these birds all together. 

I Love how my hands look in the middle of working on a piece.

(we pause for a moment to feature my fur-babies)

  

This is Maggie...my sweet docile, content, lazy girl.

This is what she has to do when Tigger makes an appearance...

(He's only 3 you know)

I add in the chip art words and begin to fill them in with color. 

Here it is!! 

Now for some pictures for an Etsy listing.

(Don't forget that 100% of profits go toward helping us with out adoption fund.)

They make great gifts.

Just sayin'...

I love that I have such a variety of plants in my yard.

They make beautiful backdrops.

See the gold strand in the baby's mouth? 

Love it!

I added an antiquing process to highlight the patterned paper.

They are "carried". 

This is my dream...to bring home a sweet baby chick-a-dee to our home. It's not to "start a family" as I've always said it's to add to our family. 

Because a family is not always a Mom and Dad and a Baby.

A family is made from LOVE. 

So much love,

from so many places and that love is never ever lost.

It remains and settles in our hearts and we are forever changed.

This piece was made with LOVE, 

maybe a couple of tears

but mostly filled with hope

and it was made by my own two hands. 

xoxo,

JillyG

Big, Big Changes Baby!

 Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives and how we are reacting to it that we forget to remember to DREAM. 

I've been living a different kind of life this year. The kind of life that you write stories about. I hope that when I am old & gray I can look back at my life like a great novel that you read over and over but the kind of novel that is filled with adventure, romance, humor and 

lot's and lot's of LOVE! 

I want my story to be filled with sadness. The messy, dirty, mascara smeared tears, kind of sadness because that is the kind that changes you and shows you just how 

strong you really are. 

I want my story to read of the greatest adventures. The kind of adventures that you get lost in and forget where you even are and don't remember how you got there but 

"man this is good"

kind of adventures.

I want there to be oodles of  chapters about friendship. That I was and had the kind of friends that you can call at all hours of the morning when you need them most. The kind of friends that will tell you when you are being a little dramatic and to

"Just Breathe". 

The kind of friends that are there for only a little while because they are exactly what you needed right then. 

The kind of friends that leave a hand-print on your heart 

&

you are changed for good friendships.

I want there to be pages and pages about family. For the reader to understand what is means to be cut from the same beautiful cloth and the character built and the immense support that you felt your whole life. The kind of family that supports you and encourages you even if they can see you are going to fall flat on your face 

but if you don't try you will always wonder

"What if?". 

The kind of family that has cousins and Aunts and Uncles that feel more like Siblings and Parents than distant relatives. The kind of family that honors each generation and recognizes that the wisdom that is passed down has more value than something read on the internet.

I want my story to tell of my belief in God. The kind of belief that is bigger than any church. The kind of trust and faith that surpasses walls that other people box us into not God. The kind of faith that just "knows" that it will all be okay because there is a bigger hand helping us than we can even comprehend. 

The kind of faith and understanding to know that  when things get too hard you will be "carried" for a little while and that's okay. 

The kind of testament that it's all about the journey not the destination and what you do and who you honor with it is what really matters. 

I want my story to tell the reader about the time when I first experienced true, true "Overwhelming Gratitude". The kind of thankfulness that makes you cry because it's almost too much to handle. The kind of Gratitude that you understand that you have absolutely everything you ever wanted but that it just may not look the way you thought it would. 

That "it's" all right there to see

if you open up your heart to accept it

in whatever way it comes to you.

I want my story to be chalk full of so much LOVE. 

The kind of love that makes you weak in the knees 

&

so full that you think your heart will burst. 

And I want the cover to read:

"She knew what it meant to LOVE!"

I've done some amazing things this year and shocked myself so many times with just how Brave I was.

I want to tell you sweet friends that my DREAMS are coming true! 

I have opened myself wide open and amazing things are happening because I haven't forgotten to Dream. I have had a secret dream for a very long time. A dream to open a little business but I've been too afraid or didn't love the idea enough or not enough people were interested in whatever I was into at that moment. But all of that was necessary to get to here. 

I was offered the opportunity to participate in an Art Show this summer.

I said "Yes!" and made art...

what has come out of it is "JillyG's" and a new Etsy shop. 

After what I consider to be an overwhelmingly successful show, I felt confident enough to share my Art with the world.

(It's brand new and I only have 3 things listed currently but more to come!) 

I know it will be slow and so much harder than I thought but I LOVE it. 

I Love that I found something that I love to do. 

It matters. Loving what you do matters. 

It changes things so much. 

I never knew this until I did it and now I know.

It all matters.

Here are some pictures of my show but stay tuned until the end of the blog because I have an even bigger announcement dear readers! 

 

I Did it! 

(With lot's of help from those that love me..) 

Here is the link to my new Etsy shop: 

JillyG's

BUT WAIT! 

 

Don't go yet...I have so much more to tell you!

Just like in all good stories I've saved the BEST for last. 

As you know, My husband and I want to start a family more than anything in the world. 

After suffering a miscarriage in the Spring we thought we could try again...However, God has closed the door for natural conception, for now...

but he has opened wide the door leading us to Adoption.

 

Yes, y'all!

 

We've decided to begin the beautiful journey of adoption. It's going to be loooong and hard and crazy and there will be tears of sadness and of great, great joy. 

I guarantee it! But of this I am certain. It will be worth every single second.

The timing of discovering Art and realizing a dream come true in JillyG's could not have come at a better time than this. 

100% of all profits will go towards our adoption fund. Every single piece of art purchased will be helping us get one step closer to bringing a precious baby into our family.

I hope you will consider a piece of art to add to your home or to give to a special friend and know that it will be filled to the brim with LOVE when you get it in your hands. 

Thank you for sticking with me until the end of this BIG, BIG blog post but I hope it was worth the read. Please help me by passing on my Etsy shop to your friends and feel free to tell them of my story.

I hope by sharing so much of me with all of you that you will know that you are all a HUGE part of my story that I will cherish forever. 

This post was written from a heart overflowing with butterflies of nervousness and excitement, so much LOVE & Gratitude it's overwhelming and as always with my own two hands. 

Love you soooo much,

JillyG

 

 

I'm a Bird, I'm a Plane, I'm a Sewer?

Hi Everyone!


Sorry I've been MIA for a little while but I've had a lot going on that I can't wait to tell you about in another post! BUT, that is not what this post is about. This is a post about my oh so hilarious adventures in sewing! I simply must tell you about my latest attempt to sew something wonderful!

It all started so harmlessly when I was babysitting my adorable 3 year old nephew Willard.

We had the BEST day ever together, making play dough from scratch.

 

I Think we used every Utensil in my Kitchen.

Then that sweet boy asked for a cape. A Cape?! Oh No! I don't have one of those...

Don't worry, Remember that I'm part McGeyver so I can find a "Cape". 

Up to the sewing room we go! 

I quickly find a piece of fabric and we tuck it into his shirt collar and Viola! 

A Cape for this Superhero!

                           Complete with the pirate hat and sword

he brought from home.

I show you all of this because he kept changing his mind about which fabric he wanted to be his "cape" and I had an idea! This boy needed to have a cape with a strip of Velcro for him to choose who he wanted to be. 

So, for his birthday I set out to make this cape I could see in my mind...

Now comes a Sewing Adventure fit for the exciting life of a boy and his cape!

I had some great black fabric that I made the cape out of but before I got to that I had to deal with my very first pattern...Here goes....

So I open it up there are 47 pages that I have to read and then realize after 15 minutes that I really only need one of those pages. I finally figure out that I need to cut out the corresponding letter from the flimsy piece of tissue paper. 

I managed to get it cut out using the pattern and got ready to sew. 

Cut it out and then pinned it to sew together to make a cape. 

I get it all pinned and turned down to sew and begin to finish the edges. 

(This is going pretty well...)

Yeah...Did you notice how it is not staying pinned?! 

This fabric and I were not agreeing!  I kept pinning and it kept slipping. I got it pinned so close together at one point that I ran out of pins! 

After 15 to 20 minutes of frustration I realized...

Sometimes it's all you need!

And I'm back...Refreshed and ready to tackle this mess!

I got the cape finished! And Attach a Velcro strip on the back of it for the cool fabric panels.

I got the fabric panel pinned nice and tight and ready to sew it up.

I realized that I needed to add a ribbon to cover the gather. 

Okay...Notice this picture for a moment if you will. It was the most beautiful straight line attaching a ribbon done with exceptional speed...and then I turned it over and saw this! 

Really?!!!

I sewed the fabric to the front of the decorative ribbon?! 

Again...Really?!!

(Insert picture of me rolling my eyes and the sound of the seam ripper.)

Finally get this done and put it together.

But, will it work?

I need a model...

Tigger will do!

I make another panel super quick because a boy needs choices when wearing a cape. 

Finally I can wrap this up and get it to the party just in time.

(which is in 2 hours...)

Finally, I make it to the party and he spots his gift. 

He turns to me and asks if he can open it! 

He uses manners and asks before ripping into his gift!!! 

He's so adorable!

   

I LOVE IT Aunt Jilly!! 

I asked him to turn around so I could take a picture of the back

and he literally said "CHEESE"!

"I'm a SUPER HERO!" 

He asked if he could wear it to bed! Can he be any cuter?

So that's it. My adventures in sewing continue. 

I am getting better each time I tackle a new project. 

More than anything, I love to see the smile on the face of the person that receives a gift made by hand. 

I swear, it can look terrible up close but you can't help but feel the love from a gift someone made while thinking of you. It just makes you feel loved. 

I have a big announcement to make soon...

(I'm not pregnant but I am going to tell you about a dream realized!)

Stay tuned to see the big news! Betcha can't wait...

As always, My sweet nephew's cape was made with lot's of sweat,

a couple of curse words, lot's and lot's of LOVE and my own two hands!

See ya soon! xoxo JillyG